Well I guess I should start from the beginning of my love for comic books and all things masculine. When I was little, my dad would spend more time with me than my mother so the love of cars and action figures began. This may sound odd, but when playing Barbies with your dad is your favorite thing to do, the gender stereotyped lines begin to blur.

I remember we had conversations about things, most mothers and their daughters would never talk about. My dad would take me to car shows, to swap meets, and into the automotive shop where he worked from a very young age. As I grew up I spent more time with the guys in the masculine clubs than anyone else so that when it came time to choose my peer group in middle and high school, I automatically gravitated toward the masculine world I knew and loved.

In the world of guys my knowledge of cars, engines, comics, and masculinity allowed me to fit right in.

I loved comic books because the characters could shatter the gendered expectations that I always was looked down on for breaking. I found the ability to create my own alter-ego, modeled after Poison Ivy that embodied the feminine power I saw in super villans and the masculine environment I value.

Poison Ivy's I Don't Give A Fuck Attitude gives women like me the opportunity to enjoy the power embodied by our given gender, but also maintain the power, influence, and freedom given to the male sex.

The comic scene gives women like me who identify with the masculine world a safe haven from persecution by our own sex due to the lack of femininity and a welcoming invitation into the world we love.

I am a woman and have been defined as such since I was born almost 21 years ago. My mother was rarely in the picture and my dad was the one who raised me. That said, my childhood was less than average considering the fights at home before and after my parents divorce. Then my mother re-married a man who verbally, physically, and sexually abused both of us.

After that started my dad left the picture. The only way to protect myself and my mother was to become the antithesis of what my step-dad wanted, a more masculine woman who was not afraid to fight back and show no fear. I always have and will continue to hate skirts and the color pink because they symbolize the femininity he imposed upon me to be subordinate to his abuse.

I needed a sanctuary from that weak and fragile femininity that had been used to harm me in so many ways, so I turned to comic books and cars as a way to reconnect with my dad who used to take me to car shows when I was little.

I am a member of a small but wonderful group of women who use their masculinity as a defense mechanism and a different way to experience the world. I am a member of an even smaller group of women who like computer games and comic books and an even lesser number who know the inner-workings of an engine.

This blog will not only look at comic books but also the benefits and detractors of female masculinity in social life.